Wednesday, November 16, 2005

That's Life!

Life experiences that make you go 'huh?'

An affinity with animals and kids
The author must state that yours truly has never
been the type to go gaga over animals or kids, being
the allergic type (sneezing and going "eewww" ). For
some unfathomable reason, kids and animals tend to
be drawn to the author. Apart from 2 crazy german
shepherds who wanted to have the author for dinner
(age 3) , most dogs just like to lick the author, be
it an old friend's hugely overgrown dog who tackled
the author and tried to drown the author in dog
drool or that dog who ignored all the dog crazy
friends of the author and proceeded to lick the
author when she was waiting for a cab to go to a
party. And that's ignoring the dogs in the park
who're invariably friendly - remind the author to
name any potential perfume invention "Lick me!" On
the whole, big dogs are preferable to the small
yappy dogs - does anyone remember those two annoying
dogs who were yapping around Fyfield - look like toy
dogs but yapping like banshees?!

Apart from the dogs, there have been cats (these
just walk a figure 8 around the author, which is
funny unless you're afraid to trod on its tail which
is when you wonder if it's an ambush set by cats),
deer (if you've smelt them, you would comprehend why
scent packs ain't part of the bambi merchandising
concept ) , squirrels ( they were cute and friendly
until someone remarked that they could tear a hostel
room apart - never looked at them or that person in
the same way again - besides, if you heard what anna
said about the gere-gerbil urban legend, you'd be
freaked!) and a horse (who scared its rider as much
as the author by trotting up to the author and
licking the author )

As for the kids, every flight(particularly the long
haul flights) invariably means some whinny toddlers
or screaming babies wailing at decibel defying
volumes who for some reason stop screaming when they
glimpse the author and break out to a smile. The
winning prize goes to that toddler who toddled up to
the author and smiled ...and drooled. Even without
the joke that that was probably the only time the
author would have a guy drooling at her, it was
disarming and those teary blue eyes didn't help. The
toddlers who were inventive and played peek-a-boo
with the author who was barely civil must be
commended for their courage!

To the feminist who said that giving birth is like
expelling an apartment block complete with swimming
pool and facilities, are kids loudspeaker and
playdoh gone crazy?!